I 'm not a mathematician by training but I love math. I can't figure out who Hillary is using to do the math for her on the delegate count, super delegates and popular vote.

The Obama Express is pumping some major steam despite the fact Reverend Wright didn't do the "wright" thing. He tried to defend his legacy as a pas

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Earthlings, Meera and I have always had an answer for any question our son Zorkey asked us. We are embarrassed to admit, that despite having super intelligence which few species in the billions of galaxies can match, we were befuddled, stumped and silenced. Our son Zorkey was shocked when he heard us say, "We do not know, it i

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Earthlings, if you are too lazy to walk, we offer you an alternative green technology called a bicycle. Humans should ride everywhere on their bikes. The new fashion trend is riding bikes, especially since gas is nearly $4 per gallon.

5 beautiful reasons to ride a bike:

1. Save the planet. Your average vehicle produces 8

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Earthling, without trees, there would be no way for you to breathe and live on this planet. Every time you chop down a tree, you are actually cutting off your oxygen supply. Why does your species keep murdering them?

You learned the value of trees and the reason for their Earthly existence in grade school. As you grow older

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Why do Earthlings spend so much on maintaining their hair? Maybe because we aliens do not have hair, we will never understand. Shampoo puts unhealthy chemicals on your head, next to your brain. This seems to us like a Didiot thing to do. The planet Earth offers a way to naturally and cheaply clean your hair.

Beautiful, shin

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We are here to help the Earthling race. We realize some of you Homo sapiens are more evolved than others. Al Gore, the earthling who invented the Internet and brought global warming to your attention, is a more highly-evolved Homo sapien.

We offer green tips which will enable you to be green like us. Your species is not adv

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It sounds like he may be bi-curious. Because he watches the show openly, he mostly likely is open to a discussion about it with you. You two are married so you should be able to discuss anything. Have you see the movie "In and Out"? Does your husband listen to show tunes? Is he really into the clothing you wear? Either ask hi

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Earthlings, we do not understand why you degrade other species on Planet Earth with such derogatory sayings as "Don't be a chicken," or "Don't be a "pansy." We find the animal species you call "chicken" to be quite a useful and friendly pet. We are amazed at the chicken's ability to create eggs from nothing. Although

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ItsTheRecessionStupid.com: UFO Recession Tip 65
Funny and useful tips to Earthlings on how to survive the economic recession from cute UFO Aliens.
"Earthlings, beware of the phones using landlines. They are dangerous to your wallet during economic recession. We have calculated that getting rid of your old-fashioned, un-glam

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I have been married for ten years and have four kids. We dated since we were 13 years old. When I was 15 I cheated on him and we broke up for two years. After that we got back together, got married and started a family. A guy I had sex with when I was 17 called me a few weeks ago, out of the blue. We've been chatting late at n

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He said, she said relationship advice from Ms. Mystery and Mr. Know.
I don't want to sound like I'm desperate for pity, but I broke up with my girlfriend two weeks ago. It was a rough breakup. We were together nearly a year and were in love, but I wasn't happy because we fought at least once a week. Also, my friends flirted

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I have dated the same guy for two years. I don't feel like our relationship is going anywhere. I don't feel happy like I used to. I keep thinking about my ex boyfriend who's in a relationship and has a baby. My boyfriend doesn't satisfy me sexually anymore and we fight all the time. Sometimes I want to be with him and somet

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Question: When will my husband stop wanting to have sex? He's 45 and we've been married 19 years. I heard that a man's sex drive should be decreasing by now, but he wants sex three or four times a week. When can I expect him to cool off? I'm tired of sex.

Answers: Ms. Mystery: It's normal for any couple to have differen

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It's the Recession, Stupid
Breakfast is an important meal to get Earthling's metabolisms and brains humming in the morning. It is the cheapest meal of the day, so take advantage of the savings during recession by eating a cheap breakfast.

Please do not skip breakfast or you will be so hungry at lunch you might easily over

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My best friend and I both liked the same girl. I dated her first. We went out a few weeks then broke up. A few days later she was with my best friend! I figured she had obviously been cheating on me with him. My other friends say she didn't cheat on me. She's still dating my friend on and off and when I see her she still flir

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