8. Uncle Sam needs to seize the distribution rights for Baywatch (I think this is actually legal via the Patriot Act) and then make it our #1 export. Can you believe Baywatch was ONLY syndicated in 148 countries? Anytime we have a disagreement with another country, all we would have to do is threaten to cut them off from our government run Baywatch feed, and a solution would certainly be imminent.

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