Here’s something to do when you’re stuck dining with one of those unbelievably obnoxious “foodies” who not only finds it necessary to “teach” you the correct pronunciation of each item on the menu but then insists on giving you a breakdown of every ingredient in all the dishes, from the gruyére to the légumes.

I like to pose a question to all the guests, who, like me are now practically comatose from the yammerings of our food-nut. What is your favorite dive in town? Where would you go if what you were craving wasn’t a fine fricassée with a nice cabernet but a greasy taco and a wax cup full of Coke? I like to watch everyone come to life as they regale their tablemates with tales of legendary double-decker burgers and homestyle empanadas. Then I like to watch our pretentious friend fume over our lowbrow conversation...